But if you stay, I will stay.
Even though the town’s not what it used to be
And pieces of your life you try to recognize
All went down
So.. it's been ages since the last time I wrote here. And it just came down to me that I always had this same feeling every time I click on this blog. It's always whenever I'm in doubt, whenever I'm feeling blue or crappy, whenever I got pretty messed up, or whenever I feel lost. I click on the link and here I am.
Usually I went through my old posts. Until the very first post on this blog. And I did it again this time. Only I didn't went to the very first post. I stopped at this post.
"time flies. I've been talking about this same crap for whole my life. time. really.
there are times when we all wish for the same thing.
when we all wish for the happy moment to freeze.
when we all wish to pause on our favorite moments, rewind for a moment, and skip the bad things.
when we all wish for time to stop or fly.
it feels like it was just yesterday that I'm so excited to wear my white-gray uniform. but now, in 3 days, my final year will begin, the last year on high school. then in no time, we'll all start a brand new life. new adventure. real life. real world. cruel place.
say this is childish, but I'm afraid to grow up.
"welcome to the real world, girlfriend." he said."
And then I realized, I just had the exact same conversation, but this time with a different person.
"Gue lagi jenuh banget kak. Apa ya... Ya gue ngejalanin hidup gue nih. Gue ngerjain tugas, gue kepanitiaan, gue ngerjain ini itu, gue kerjain semua kok. Tapi kayak.. apa ya. Jenuh. Hectic sih enggak, gue pernah lebih hectic dari ini. Tapi apa ya, kalo sekarang tuh.. hampa. Hampa aja gitu. Kayak ngerjainnya sih ngerjain tapi ga ada perasaannya. Padahal dulu gue ga gini padahal ngerjain hal yang sama."
"Gak semua hal yang harus lo kerjain itu nyenengin. Emang ngerjain tugas itu nyenengin? Emang ngerjain skripsi itu nyenengin? Nggak kan? Tapi ya harus lo jalanin. It's a part of growing up."
terus gue masih diem, mau bilang gak setuju. tapi iya juga. tapi.... terus sampe pas gue diem pun senior-yang-hampir-alumni ini akhirnya
"It's a part of growing up."
terus gue udah ga bisa ngomong apa-apa lagi.
same old conversation about growing up. Yang dulu waktu senior year pas SMA, yang sekarang waktu (almost) senior year pas kuliah.
...ternyata otak gue ga berkembang.